How To Stick With Your Decision To Abstain From Sex

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What many don’t realize is that celibacy isn’t something that is merely physical. From my own personal journey, I’ve come to realize that it is more of a mental battle than anything else.

It is about making up your mind that you are going to refrain from sex and wanting it bad enough to truly stick with it, regardless of what opportunity presents itself and who comes along looking to change your mind. While there are plenty of people out there who will preach why you should become or remain celibate, not many are providing enough insight as to how. So, I’ve provided some of the tips that have helped me in my own personal journey, as well as some lessons I’ve learned along the way.
Recognize why you’ve chosen or are considering celibacy - Not knowing the reason why you’re doing something can greatly hinder your progress and success. I personally decided to abstain from sex for religious reasons. As a Christian, the Bible advises against participating in premarital sex. While I had already made the mistake of engaging in sex outside of marriage, I didn’t wish to continue with it. I no longer have the gift of virginity to give to my future husband; however, I didn’t wish to continue giving away what I did have to a guy that was undeserving of it.
Inform your current sexual partner (if you have one) that you’ve kissed that life goodbye – Unless you plan on cutting all ties with the current boyfriend or friend with benefits that you’ve been engaging with, then you should probably inform them that you will no longer be taking part in the festivities. Now, I can’t guarantee you that their response will be the most encouraging, because realistically speaking, it probably won’t, but verbally putting it out there takes pressure off of you and it decreases expectations.
Refrain from putting yourself in compromising situations – Just because you’ve chosen to take on the challenging task of locking down the goods, that doesn’t mean you’re superwoman. You are still human. With that in mind, try to avoid putting yourself in situations that might tempt you to give in to your desires. We’re sexual beings and to think that because you’ve decided to be celibate you are somehow exempt from getting “turned on” is foolish.
Don’t lead him on – Participating in foreplay knowing that you don’t have any intentions of going all the way is crazy. Besides, celibacy means abstaining from all sexual activities, not just the main attraction. By doing this you also make things more difficult (tempting) for yourself. It is unfair to him as well.
Inform anyone that you are seriously dating or considering seriously dating of your decision - This just helps you to avoid headaches in the long run, it always shows you where your love interest’s head is at. First, it puts everything on the table. You are letting it be known upfront that sex is not on your agenda. Allow them to then make the decision from there whether or not they wish to continue a relationship with you.
Align yourself with other women like you – The decision to be celibate can be challenging at times. Having support from people that have embarked on similar journeys can be really helpful and encouraging, especially on those rough days.
Be selective with the men you choose to date – Practicing celibacy while dating a sexually active man is really difficult, some would even call it impossible. Practicing celibacy while dating a sexually active man who doesn’t respect your decision to be celibate is a recipe for disaster. It’s probably in your best interest to date those who have also made a decision to practice abstinence.
Control your thoughts – There will be times where your mind wants to wander back to how it used to be. You’d be surprised at how vivid and accurate your memory can be sometimes. You have the ability to be in control of your thoughts. While you may not be able to completely filter the thoughts that pop into your head, you can definitely decide what you choose to dwell on.

Ten Things She Might Like In Bed But Is Afraid To Ask

Hi Guys, one is for you:
I have had countless girls just go on and on to me about how much sex sucks with their man. And before you start getting that little chip on your shoulder and claiming you’re the best your girl has ever had, you should probably know that when a girl that loves you hates the sex, she is never going to tell you, no, she will rather sit with her girlfriends and whine. Yeah, I gotta admit though, it will be way easier if your girl can actually be honest with you about what she likes, but we can get a little shy sometimes, so, looks like we all have to learn to deal.No need to panic though, I’m not saying your girl might might want you to do something freaky, like ask to watch you screw your dog or something (at least I hope not), but there are some basic things you can do that will have her singing your praises around town in no time, and will leave her girlfriends so freaking envious, they’d probably start chasing after you.
1. She wants to be eaten out more: I know some guys that would swear their girls hate this when she really doesn’t. Thing is, she might be feeling a little bit self conscious having your mouth down there. Oral sex is a completely different sensation from the real thing when it comes to girls so if you are trying this on her for the first time, she might be a little hesitant. Here is how to go about it. Ease her into it very gently, stroke her inner thighs and tell her as often as you can how sexy her pussy is, how great it smells and how much you would want to taste it. Make her feel like she’s got the best pussy in the world and trust me, she would be opening those legs for you in no time. Remember, there is a chance that oral sex really isn’t her thing though. If it looks like she really isn’t into it, don’t push it. Try something else.

2. She wants to fool around in public. I’m not saying you should rip off her clothes at a party, because public sex can sometimes be a little messy. But having some heavy make-out-sessions at the corner of a bar, at the movies, back seat of a car can be very exciting. She would most likely not want to ask you for this because she is scared you might lose respect for her, so how do you know if she would like this? Well the key here is communication. Bring up the topic when you guys are talking, and ask her what she thinks. You can also bring it up when something like that comes up on TV or something and ask her if she thinks it’s sexy.



3. She wants to be dominated. Even tough, big-mouthed women can like to get dominated in bed from time to time. OK here is where it get’s a little tricky. You want to dominate her without actually making it feel like you’re raping her. But with tons of trust and communication, she’ll be creaming her panties in no time! You just need to take baby steps and constantly read her body language to make sure she’s comfortable, both physically and emotionally. It is also a good idea to have a ‘safe word’ she can use when she fees like you are going too far. For instance, if she says ‘no no no’ when she is uncomfortable, you might think she is actually enjoying it and moaning ”ooohh nooo’ or something, so your safe word shouldn’t be No. A good idea is the phrase “I want you to stop now!” as this makes it very clear. Also, if you are thinking of dominating your woman, try taking it slow. Don’t suddenly start barking out words like ‘slut’ unless you are absolutely sure it’s something she likes. Play around with restraints- loose restraints and keep it light and fun.
4. She wants to dominate you. In this case, it looks like the ball is in her court. But she might be too shy to ask you to be the submissive one, just in case you might not like it. If this is something you will enjoy, here’s how to let her know. If your girl loves the cowgirl sex position, say things like “I just Love you in control, it gets me so hot” or let her know you will like her to give you a Blow Job while you are blindfolded. That can get things going for her and if she finds her inner Dominatrix, you’re a lucky man.



5. She wants to be spanked. Lightly spanking a woman (i.e., nothing that could cause a bruise) can feel amazing for both of you: I’ve heard lots of women say that getting spanked sends lots of tingly feelings to their vaginal and anal areas. Sometimes a girl might have a hard time finding the words to ask to be spanked. The key is to take baby steps. While you’re making out, touch her ass a lot; squeeze it, rub it; show her you think her booty is a-maz-ing. Whisper in her ear, “Can I give you a little spank?” If she says yes, do it once, softly. Ask, “Do you like that?” If she says yes, ask if you can do it a few more times, all the while kissing her and still squeezing and rubbing her ass. Then you should probably stop. Next time you guys are cuddling, bring up how you liked giving her little spanks and ask if she wants to try it again sometime. If she’s receptive, ask her if she wants you to do it harder or if she’d like to lie in your lap while you spank her. Once again, Do not call her names or humiliate her unless she tells you that’s what she wants. Even if your woman really likes getting spanked, it’s important to remember that spanking is still hitting and you need to make it 100 percent absolutely clear that you’re only doing it in the context of sexual arousal.
6. Masturbation. Masturbation is a healthy part of life, so why not share it with your partner? If you’re not too shy, put your guard down and let her watch as you get acquainted with yourself. The whole process of watching you getting it on with yourself can be very appealing. The big perk for you is that after she watches you please yourself, she might get a few new ideas or tips on how she can improve the way she pleases you. Everybody wins.
7. Sex Toys. Sex toys are a fun and exciting way to put some heat back in the bedroom. You can take baby steps and begin with heated and flavored massage oils, then try applying some orgasm-enhancing lubricant to her pussy, and finally, you can use a vibrator on her. Once you’re both feeling a little more adventurous, you can tackle the world of dildos, anal probes and beads. Use them on her, let her use them on you, take turns, or find a way to use them on each other at the same time. Regardless of how you do it, this bit of kink is sure to kick-start a heated sexual frenzy.

8. Role Playing. Role-playing might be on her “must try” list of sexual fantasies. Sometimes it can feel really great getting to be someone else in bed for a while. It might feel odd at first, so start small. Talk about your sexual fantasies, for instance, she might have always fantasized being fucked by a doctor, this is relatively a good starting point, then you can start bringing in more and more characters and before you know it, your sex life would be positively sizzling.

9.Pole Dancing. It’s no secret that most guys would love to see their significant other do a private sexy dance for them. Some couples even go as far as to have poles installed in their bedrooms. I am sure she has thought about strutting on a pole for you, but she might be shy ’cause she thinks she might not look sexy doing it. Boost her ego, let her know you love watching her dance. Encourage her to a point where she feels that even if she doesn’t do it right, you will still find it sexy. Pole dancing is an art and trust me, after a few tries, she would be ready to give you your on private little show whenever you want.

10. Threesome. For the more adventurous, thrill-seeking woman, adding someone new into the mix might be interesting. That’s right — having a threesome isn’t necessarily only yourfantasy. Some women have also entertained the idea. For those of you who are deterred by the idea of sharing your woman with another man, or just by the idea of being in bed with another man, don’t worry because another female fantasy that might come into play here is her desire to be with another woman.

Something important to note — before you start running a list of her friends through your head as possible candidates — is that threesomes might be dangerous for a relationship. So, make sure you discuss it thoroughly beforehand and you both understand what the boundaries and limits are.

One thing to remember, when bringing new ideas and tricks into the bedroom is that Communication is important. Be able to express yourself clearly to avoid misunderstanding and embarrassment. Sex should be fun, and should never be obligatory. Never make your partner pressured and you’d be sure to have an awesome sexual experience each time.

How To Enhance Your Sex Life Using Your Imagination

When it comes to your sexual satisfaction, your imagination can be your best friend.

Imagine you are a chef, and this article is a recipe for enhancing your sex life. This recipe contains a variety of mind-body ingredients that will add additional excitement and fun into your sex life. The goal of this process is to help you create an integrated body-mind state in which you feel safe and secure enough to explore and enjoy your own sexuality. Season to taste. In other words, make it about what really lights your fire!
Ready to start? In order to get the most out of this guided, self-directed exercise, ask yourself what you want to turn off and what you want to turn on when

you signal to yourself that you’re ready to be swept away physically and emotionally. Example: you might want to turn off unwanted inhibitions and turn on your inner sex kitten. Or, you might want to turn off that annoying voice in your head and turn up your awareness of all the pleasurable sensations you are excited about experiencing.
You will be creating a signal that will automatically turn on and off whatever is necessary for you to feel ready, willing and able to be swept away. It is time to get in touch with how you feel and/or how you want to feel when you are in the mood. Let’s create a signal that instantly reconnects you to what “floats your sexual boat” and launch it in the privacy of your mind.
The signal could very well be a combination of memories and fantasies that builds up over time. This is all about putting yourself into the mood to be swept away by the sensual and emotional experience you are choosing to expose yourself to. In order to get the most out of this process, you want to give yourself permission to excite yourself and feel your arousal as intensely as you can.
It can be really easy to do. Just remember or imagine a wave of pleasurable physical sensations moving through your body, knowing that you are eager to let yourself go. Your heart is happy, your mind is excited and at ease and your spirit feels playful and free! What a fantastic way to feel. Continue to be with this wonderful feeling and at the same time, start to imagine your favorite shade of green.

6 Tips To Improve Your Body Image & Your Sex Life

How you feel about your body has a big impact on your sex life. Improve both with these tips!
Having poor body image means that you view your body in a negative light. This often occurs when people with low self-esteem only see their physical flaws when they look in the mirror. Body image is often one of several issues that interfere with a person’s ability to enjoy sex. There are multiple causes for poor body image. They include the following:

• Perfectionism, or feeling down and frustrated about your physical flaws.
• Conforming to certain ideals, which are usually found in advertising and other media.
• Being overly focused on looks.
• Believing that you must be a certain weight or size to be happy.
• Judging parts instead of paying attention to the whole. When you look in the mirror, often people with low self-esteem only see the body parts that they deem unattractive.

Sometimes, poor body image has some basis in reality. For example, cancer treatment can include disfiguring surgery. Another example is people who are born with defects, including those to the sex organs. When someone has been abused — sexually, emotionally or physically — they may also suffer low self-esteem and problems with appearance due to feeling belittled or devalued. Eating disorders can also result in major difficulties with body image.
How does body image interfere with sexual pleasure? If you do not feel good about your body, you probably are not going to want to be seen naked or even partially undressed in front of a partner. You are unlikely to initiate sex. You may also be out of touch with your body’s desires and pleasures, since you see your body as a source of distress. You may not want certain parts of your body touched because you feel embarrassed about how you look. It may surprise you to learn that about half the people who have body image issues are male.
How can you improve your body image so that you can have more sexual enjoyment?
Here are six suggestions to help improve your self-esteem and love the skin you are in.
1. Focus on what you do like about your body or face. Do you have a nice smile? Neat ears? Pretty hands? Strong calves? Broad shoulders? Everyone has something about themselves to like.
2. Notice that there are all types of bodies in all shapes, sizes and skin tones. What you see in the media is not a representation of the human race. Appreciate the differences you see around you and appreciate your own individual looks.
3. Exercise. If you move, you can be grateful for what your body is able to do, rather than how it appears. You do not have to do an extreme sport. You can just take a walk and appreciate how your legs can take you from one place to another.
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5 Bedtime Habits That Are Ruining Your Sex Life

Are your responsibilities getting in the way of time with your partner?

Finding a married couple that complains about too much sex is as likely as coming across a mermaid or a unicorn. They just don’t exist in this world.
All those jokes are true. The sex often the diminish after the ‘I do’s. But it’s not the actual institution of marriage that’s to blame, it’s everything that comes with it.
You may not realize it, but all of those everyday responsibilities are getting in the way of your love life. That after-work routine is automatic, but a seemingly harmless to-do list can put a serious cramp in your couple time.
1. Smartphone Fanatic
The only thing that should be vibrating near your bed is a sex toy — if that’s you and your hubby’s thing. Don’t just silence your phone, cut it off. In fact, leave it in the living room and turn your focus to each other. Those emails can be answered in the morning.
2.Chores Galore
Give your inner clean freak the night off once in awhile. Let the dishes wait until morning and have a make-out session instead.

3. iPad Obsession
The iPad is addictive but Words With Friends shouldn’t interfere with foreplay. Think about it this way — the only games you need to play at night are with that flesh and blood person right beside you.
4. Story Time
Kids will do anything they can to stay up late. Next time your little one brings you a pile of books to read at bedtime, quickly nix the idea. Two is more than enough, then get in some cuddle time with your man.
5. Too Much Talk
Nothing kills the mood quicker than bringing up some serious issue. Leave the “I can’t believe what your mother did now” and “Tommy’s failing algebra” discussions for morning.
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